WHEN GOOD RELATIONSHIPS FOLLOW

Many good relationships end soon, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, sometimes people need a good fight or clear the air to get back into a good relationship. Conflict does not mean that a good relationship has to end. We frequently engage in conflicts with the most important individuals we care for and impart our knowledge to them. us the greatest desire.
Here are some ideas that can help when the going gets tough.
• Take time to listen to each other. It’s not always easy. Everyone should take the time to listen to the other person without distraction during the conversation.

• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. All participants in the conflict have a distinctly different understanding of the situation. In close combat, people tend to believe that they are completely right. Try to understand why the other person sees things the way they do. Only your attempt to do this will help the other person see that you are trying.

• See what the other person is saying is true. See if you can fix it. If you need to apologize, go ahead. It may sound terrible, but an apology can often help repair a good relationship.

• Separate feelings from reality. Everyone has feelings that come up from time to time. People often say things they don’t mean when they are in the midst of emotional turmoil. Give people time and space to feel their feelings before trying to figure things out.

• Continue to value and respect each other. Although it may be difficult, focus on the positive aspects of a good relationship. When you model appreciation, the other person will often follow suit.

• Speak from your heart. When trying to understand a difficulty, focus on what is most important to you and the other person: project goals, others, community, etc.

• Don’t give up on your principles. Don’t sacrifice what you believe in just to make a good relationship work. If you give up on your principles, you won’t be effective and a good relationship won’t work anyway.

• Wait until the going gets tough. You can take a breather, but try not to completely give up on a good relationship. When things are the hardest, it is important to learn. Is it best to maintain a good relationship in which you have invested your time and care?

• You can take action on your ownto improve a good relationship. Even when another person or group of people is behaving badly, you can act positively, respectfully, constructively and thoughtfully. It can surprise people and they can follow your lead. Is all this easier said than done? Yes. Maintaining good relationships can be difficult, but it is not impossible. Think of yourself as an explorer navigating your way through the mysterious and murky waters of good relationships. The treasure is ahead!

GOOD RELATIONSHIPS

Yes, you can even build good relationships with people who disagree with you and may even work against you and your organization’s goals. You can use the same guidelines listed above in “When Good Relationships Go Bad” with the following additions.

• You can disagree and still have good relationships with people who work against your goals. If you do this, the members of the other camp will begin to see you as a person, not an enemy. In turn, you also get a picture of their humanity. You can try inviting someone from the “other” camp to lunch and see what you have in common.

• You can start a dialogue group to hear why your opponents see things the way they do. You can hire a neutral facilitator to come and lead a discussion about the differences. With the help of a professional teacher, people can begin to understand the values and concerns that others bring to their views and find common interests.

SUMMARY

Building and maintaining good relationships is at the heart of community organizing. The strength of community is the strength of our bond. Through strong connections, people have the power to bring about real change. Making these connections takes time, but it’s worth it.
Good relationships are often the source of our greatest joy and challenge. Understanding good relationships is not an easy task. People are so unique and complex that there is no simple formula.
 At the core of almost every religion is the idea that we should treat our neighbors as we would want to be treated. If you remember this, you will likely be able to build good relationships that you can trust.
Being a leader or follower, you can create an environment of friends, peers and peers.. workers, partners and friends around you. Together, there’s no telling what you can do.